This is a jewel to be bookmarked and read again, to read in times of loss. To reread when I need to remember to have reverence and openness for the mysteries and accept and allow. Farewell Samwise, thank you for your gentle soul. Thank you, Kateri for sharing your wisdom, even now, and especially now.❤️
Thank you for this page of life, I can relate to everything you are writing. Really. While I was reading, my Cassie was besides me on the sofa and I couldn’t stop scratching her paw, she wouldn’t let me, until I finished. I guess she was reading along with me and thinking « Oh, I hope you ‘ll be there when it’s my turn to go ». Of course, I was there for my cats and dogs, as I was for my Mom, my aunt, and even for one complete stranger who died in my arms after falling down in a store, many years ago. My guess was that he wasn’t a real stranger, but somebody I knew from a past life because he had the time to speak to me before the ambulance came in and after that moment, I never doubt of living for Eternity.
I haven’t been on Substack for some tie so I just read this I knew Same was gone but your reflecting on life is very intense. I’m a non believer in anything, I just know there’s life, love, beauty (and all the bad things that we loathe). I always feel we’re left with the suffering BUT we’ve loved and shared a special bond with every single pet we’ve had. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s a tunnel of sharp heartache to go through, and when light shows it’s full of melancholy, but love and bond are so good. The sweetest memories of their fur, purring, their personality, all this we cherish for ever
Thank you sweet friend. My heart is still so tender. I cried again yesterday. I miss him so so much. I woke up the other day thinking, Sam, please come back, knowing full well that is not how it works. But everything has changed. We are all feeling it. 🩶 Love back.
Thank you so much for your kind words and love. It means so much to me. Sorry for the delayed response to your note. We were traveling in an area with horrible cell and internet reception. I saw your recent post about seeing signs of your Sammie everywhere around your home. My heart goes out to you. . . I’m having the same difficulty and I can’t tell you how many times I’m brought to tears over missing our boy Abner so much. We haven’t put away any of his feeding bowls, toys, blankies. I want to hear is paws walking on the floor, his meows & chatter, running up the basement stairs. It’s so quiet without him. I pray our Heavenly Father will somehow give us a sign Abner is still with us in some way. It’s going to take time to heal. I hope your healing journey continues as well, and your heart remains full of fond memories of your Samwise. ❤️ Have a wonderful week Kateri! The creativity you share is so good for the soul Xo- Erica
I am so sorry for your loss of your Abner. And thank you for your kind words. I suspect it will take a long time. Just seeing this photo of my Sam again made me cry. Big hug for you, Erica.
It seems in retrospect, that life really is a series of loving, of letting go, of saying goodbye. As I age, I am not sure what I believe in anymore. After having buried 3 children in this life so far, and the loss of my Father and very soon my Mother.(and of course many other relatives and pets along the way) I want to believe with all my heart in something after death.
I came out of the womb a seeker of truth and of love. I was always sure. I have always believed as Plato did there is more to this than we can understand but soul/eternity was a constant. But in the last few years with the way the world has been and my own losses, I am beginning to feel like Sartre. That all of it is a convenient way to make living mean SOMETHING, to make us feel better and so we are not scared to live it.(Maybe a temporary loss of faith is a normal part of aging and facing our own mortality?)
However, I cannot believe that the universe could be so unfair, as we watch children die in the world (or anyone really) that it can't be all there is? There must be a bigger meaning to their lives and that life and death are only small blinks in time of a very long continuum.
I have had moments where I swear someone who has passed was beside me. My daughter had said she saw her brother in the backseat of her car in the rear view mirror, just before her car axle broke and the tow truck driver said he had never seen anything like how the axle jammed that way and that she was very lucky she wasn't killed that it stopped her car and she didnt roll it at the hwy speed she was going. She still believes this 17 years later. I have also had a psychic yell to me as I passed by on the street, "Your son said to tell you he has your back". I have since had 3 other different mediums unsolicited tell me the exact same thing over the years. Coincidentally, I have a tattoo of my son behind my heart on my back that no one sees. His teenage humor would totally have gotten a kick out of saying that. I want to believe he and his brother and sister are there somewhere waiting for me. Mystery is a great way to put it. And I always love your posts and what they bring up for all of us. Thank you for sharing.
Kateri and Rick and for Sam's siblings I am so sorry for your loss! I too have to believe there is something somewhere more magical and beautiful after this for every soul. What a lucky thing regardless of what is true, that we get to LOVE even if it means saying goodbye.
Ari 🫂 ❤️ Thank you for this beautiful reflection. First, I am so deeply sorry for your losses. I, too, want to believe with all my heart in something after death, and I also understand beginning to feel like Sartre. Who really knows. But I think the most beautiful thing here, and the thing I most hold onto is what you wrote at the end: What a lucky thing regardless of what is true, that we get to LOVE even if it means saying goodbye. A zillion times...yes. Thank you for that. I wrote it in my notebook. 🩶
Kateri, I am so sorry for you loss of Samwise - I know he was so very special! I was sitting down with my morning coffee & my Henry (our 14+ yrs old Boykin Spaniel and dear companion) and saw your post. My heart goes out to you, dear Kateri! It is so hard - the death of our dear pets!! Our Henry's health has been deteriorating - sight, smell, and hearing and torn ligaments in one leg in last couple of weeks - so we know we will soon be facing what you have been going through. Such a beautiful tribute you wrote for your Sam! Peace and love to you!
My deepest sympathy to you and your family for your loss of dear Sammie. I am so touched by this post-- so so touched that it's bringing me to tears right now. We lost our dear feline Abner ("Buttercup") on August 26th, due to renal failure. We sent him on his journey to his "eternal home" in the comfort of his earthly home he shared with us for 20 years. 20 years of companionship and unconditional love. What you have shared describes exactly the relationship we had with our Buttercup in his final months, weeks, days. . and hours. His will to survive just kept going, even on his worse days. IV subq fluids every other day; medications; heating pads, soft fuzzy blankies, hugs, pats, and chin taps. . . . anything that would provide him with the comfort he needed during his final stage of life here on earth. My heart is full of so much grief. Your tribute to Sammie has given me a sense of hope, grounding, peace, and light. I truly believe we find our furry companions and they find us through our Heavenly Father. We are bonded for eternity. I will read and reread your tribute throughout my healing journey. Wishing you comfort and peace during this difficult time Kateri. Bless you and your dear feline Samwise. Xo Erica
Kateri, I felt every word of your beautiful tribute to Samwise. Losing a beloved pet is like losing a piece of our hearts, and your words captured that pain and love so perfectly. I, too, have questioned the mysteries of life and death when faced with the loss of a furry companion. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Sending positive thoughts and energy ❤️
Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness, Alexander. I only had the courage to come here just today, to read all of these lovely comments. I appreciate yours so much,
I am so sorry for your loss, Kateri. Our pets always have a piece of our heart. I have often said that wherever we go in the afterlife, I hope all my pets are there to great me. Sending you a big hug.
Darling daughter, This is a read to be read over and over again. Not much more that I can say on the insightful beauty of it. My heart has always been with you, more so at times like these. Being with you in spirit on Sammie’s brave journey of leaving this life he loved so much has been hard, sad and yet beautiful. You are a strong woman and had that in common with your Samwise. I love you and will miss Sammie and his antics.
My heart aches for you my friend. Samwise is a special soul, and I know you will miss him with all your heart. As I watch the sun set over Blue Mountain Lake, I read your thoughtful words and I feel the grief in my heart as well. Goodnight, sweet prince. I'm so very sorry, Kateri. Holding you, Rick, and Sammie ever so gently in my thoughts ❤️.
You wrote so eloquently about many of the questions I live with, too. I'm grateful to you for putting your thoughts into words and sharing them with us. I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear Samwise, he has been your constant companion through your life. During my time on your Patreon I grew accustomed to seeing him walking across your desk or up to some other antics on the side. He always brought a smile to my lips. May these next days and weeks be especially gentle ones. Sending my love and strong hugs, Margi
Every painting you see with a few birds the sky means that Sam walked across it while and left paw prints. :) I will treasure those even more now. Thank you, Margi. xo
This is a jewel to be bookmarked and read again, to read in times of loss. To reread when I need to remember to have reverence and openness for the mysteries and accept and allow. Farewell Samwise, thank you for your gentle soul. Thank you, Kateri for sharing your wisdom, even now, and especially now.❤️
One of your flowers was sprinkled over him in his resting place. Thank you, dear Kitty. Love you.
Dearest Kateri,
Thank you for this page of life, I can relate to everything you are writing. Really. While I was reading, my Cassie was besides me on the sofa and I couldn’t stop scratching her paw, she wouldn’t let me, until I finished. I guess she was reading along with me and thinking « Oh, I hope you ‘ll be there when it’s my turn to go ». Of course, I was there for my cats and dogs, as I was for my Mom, my aunt, and even for one complete stranger who died in my arms after falling down in a store, many years ago. My guess was that he wasn’t a real stranger, but somebody I knew from a past life because he had the time to speak to me before the ambulance came in and after that moment, I never doubt of living for Eternity.
Bon dimanche, sending my love, Christiane
Thank you, dear Christiane, sending love back. I am feeling tried and sad and pretty tender right now. But I sure appreciate your thoughtfulness.
I haven’t been on Substack for some tie so I just read this I knew Same was gone but your reflecting on life is very intense. I’m a non believer in anything, I just know there’s life, love, beauty (and all the bad things that we loathe). I always feel we’re left with the suffering BUT we’ve loved and shared a special bond with every single pet we’ve had. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s a tunnel of sharp heartache to go through, and when light shows it’s full of melancholy, but love and bond are so good. The sweetest memories of their fur, purring, their personality, all this we cherish for ever
Lots of love to you, Rock and Sam’s siblings
Thank you sweet friend. My heart is still so tender. I cried again yesterday. I miss him so so much. I woke up the other day thinking, Sam, please come back, knowing full well that is not how it works. But everything has changed. We are all feeling it. 🩶 Love back.
Hello Kateri,
Thank you so much for your kind words and love. It means so much to me. Sorry for the delayed response to your note. We were traveling in an area with horrible cell and internet reception. I saw your recent post about seeing signs of your Sammie everywhere around your home. My heart goes out to you. . . I’m having the same difficulty and I can’t tell you how many times I’m brought to tears over missing our boy Abner so much. We haven’t put away any of his feeding bowls, toys, blankies. I want to hear is paws walking on the floor, his meows & chatter, running up the basement stairs. It’s so quiet without him. I pray our Heavenly Father will somehow give us a sign Abner is still with us in some way. It’s going to take time to heal. I hope your healing journey continues as well, and your heart remains full of fond memories of your Samwise. ❤️ Have a wonderful week Kateri! The creativity you share is so good for the soul Xo- Erica
I am so sorry for your loss of your Abner. And thank you for your kind words. I suspect it will take a long time. Just seeing this photo of my Sam again made me cry. Big hug for you, Erica.
It seems in retrospect, that life really is a series of loving, of letting go, of saying goodbye. As I age, I am not sure what I believe in anymore. After having buried 3 children in this life so far, and the loss of my Father and very soon my Mother.(and of course many other relatives and pets along the way) I want to believe with all my heart in something after death.
I came out of the womb a seeker of truth and of love. I was always sure. I have always believed as Plato did there is more to this than we can understand but soul/eternity was a constant. But in the last few years with the way the world has been and my own losses, I am beginning to feel like Sartre. That all of it is a convenient way to make living mean SOMETHING, to make us feel better and so we are not scared to live it.(Maybe a temporary loss of faith is a normal part of aging and facing our own mortality?)
However, I cannot believe that the universe could be so unfair, as we watch children die in the world (or anyone really) that it can't be all there is? There must be a bigger meaning to their lives and that life and death are only small blinks in time of a very long continuum.
I have had moments where I swear someone who has passed was beside me. My daughter had said she saw her brother in the backseat of her car in the rear view mirror, just before her car axle broke and the tow truck driver said he had never seen anything like how the axle jammed that way and that she was very lucky she wasn't killed that it stopped her car and she didnt roll it at the hwy speed she was going. She still believes this 17 years later. I have also had a psychic yell to me as I passed by on the street, "Your son said to tell you he has your back". I have since had 3 other different mediums unsolicited tell me the exact same thing over the years. Coincidentally, I have a tattoo of my son behind my heart on my back that no one sees. His teenage humor would totally have gotten a kick out of saying that. I want to believe he and his brother and sister are there somewhere waiting for me. Mystery is a great way to put it. And I always love your posts and what they bring up for all of us. Thank you for sharing.
Kateri and Rick and for Sam's siblings I am so sorry for your loss! I too have to believe there is something somewhere more magical and beautiful after this for every soul. What a lucky thing regardless of what is true, that we get to LOVE even if it means saying goodbye.
Ari 🫂 ❤️ Thank you for this beautiful reflection. First, I am so deeply sorry for your losses. I, too, want to believe with all my heart in something after death, and I also understand beginning to feel like Sartre. Who really knows. But I think the most beautiful thing here, and the thing I most hold onto is what you wrote at the end: What a lucky thing regardless of what is true, that we get to LOVE even if it means saying goodbye. A zillion times...yes. Thank you for that. I wrote it in my notebook. 🩶
Kateri,
So sorry, but he has taught us all much.
Debby
He is a dear boy, in my heart always.
Kateri, I am so sorry for you loss of Samwise - I know he was so very special! I was sitting down with my morning coffee & my Henry (our 14+ yrs old Boykin Spaniel and dear companion) and saw your post. My heart goes out to you, dear Kateri! It is so hard - the death of our dear pets!! Our Henry's health has been deteriorating - sight, smell, and hearing and torn ligaments in one leg in last couple of weeks - so we know we will soon be facing what you have been going through. Such a beautiful tribute you wrote for your Sam! Peace and love to you!
I'm so sorry Henry is not well. Sending you a lot of love.
Dear Kateri,
My deepest sympathy to you and your family for your loss of dear Sammie. I am so touched by this post-- so so touched that it's bringing me to tears right now. We lost our dear feline Abner ("Buttercup") on August 26th, due to renal failure. We sent him on his journey to his "eternal home" in the comfort of his earthly home he shared with us for 20 years. 20 years of companionship and unconditional love. What you have shared describes exactly the relationship we had with our Buttercup in his final months, weeks, days. . and hours. His will to survive just kept going, even on his worse days. IV subq fluids every other day; medications; heating pads, soft fuzzy blankies, hugs, pats, and chin taps. . . . anything that would provide him with the comfort he needed during his final stage of life here on earth. My heart is full of so much grief. Your tribute to Sammie has given me a sense of hope, grounding, peace, and light. I truly believe we find our furry companions and they find us through our Heavenly Father. We are bonded for eternity. I will read and reread your tribute throughout my healing journey. Wishing you comfort and peace during this difficult time Kateri. Bless you and your dear feline Samwise. Xo Erica
Sending much love and gentle hugs to dear Erica. Thank you. I am so sorry for your loss of your very special Abner, too. ❤️🩹🕯️
Kateri, I felt every word of your beautiful tribute to Samwise. Losing a beloved pet is like losing a piece of our hearts, and your words captured that pain and love so perfectly. I, too, have questioned the mysteries of life and death when faced with the loss of a furry companion. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Sending positive thoughts and energy ❤️
Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness, Alexander. I only had the courage to come here just today, to read all of these lovely comments. I appreciate yours so much,
I'm so sorry Kateri. I know well the loss of a beloved pet, it's often times excruciating. Thinking of you and Samwise....
It surely is. My heart is really sore.
🫶
Thank you, Karen. ❤️
I am so sorry for your loss, Kateri. Our pets always have a piece of our heart. I have often said that wherever we go in the afterlife, I hope all my pets are there to great me. Sending you a big hug.
Lynn
I hope so too. I told Sammie I have no idea where we go, but my biggest wish is to see him again. Thank you. Love, K xo
Darling daughter, This is a read to be read over and over again. Not much more that I can say on the insightful beauty of it. My heart has always been with you, more so at times like these. Being with you in spirit on Sammie’s brave journey of leaving this life he loved so much has been hard, sad and yet beautiful. You are a strong woman and had that in common with your Samwise. I love you and will miss Sammie and his antics.
Thank you, Mom. It's a very hard thing. I love you. 🫶
My heart aches for you my friend. Samwise is a special soul, and I know you will miss him with all your heart. As I watch the sun set over Blue Mountain Lake, I read your thoughtful words and I feel the grief in my heart as well. Goodnight, sweet prince. I'm so very sorry, Kateri. Holding you, Rick, and Sammie ever so gently in my thoughts ❤️.
Thank you so much, Nancy. You know. I know you do. Sending you love. And many Blue Mountain sunsets.
Dearest Kateri,
You wrote so eloquently about many of the questions I live with, too. I'm grateful to you for putting your thoughts into words and sharing them with us. I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear Samwise, he has been your constant companion through your life. During my time on your Patreon I grew accustomed to seeing him walking across your desk or up to some other antics on the side. He always brought a smile to my lips. May these next days and weeks be especially gentle ones. Sending my love and strong hugs, Margi
Every painting you see with a few birds the sky means that Sam walked across it while and left paw prints. :) I will treasure those even more now. Thank you, Margi. xo
I'm so sorry for your loss. I miss every cat I've ever had.
Me, too. Hugs. 🫂